I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
