why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
