I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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