Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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