only you would photoshop your dick
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
