oh god the rape fog is back!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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