So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
