Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
