so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
