I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
