But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
