I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's the barista slut.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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