Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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