and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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