I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
