Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
