seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
