Betty ford says i'm here all night
Operation Purity has been aborted
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
