just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
