Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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