Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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