You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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