he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
