i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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