THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
