ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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