we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
