apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
