that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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