i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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