At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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