highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
