Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
