I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
