Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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