You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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