i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
