she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
