Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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