i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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