whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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