dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
