Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
