another moral hangover. fuck.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
