oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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