i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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