How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
