Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
