She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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