I just pynch a tree in the face
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
